KILL ALL LAWYERS!
Welcome to my blog! In this forum I am going to try and awaken you to the ROOT causes of the degredation of America. You're not going to like much of what I say, but it's going to be the truth, something which is hard to come by in this country anymore...even in blogs.
You'll notice by the title that I am not very fond of lawyers. Let me make my distaste known to you and explain why:
1. A law degree is the most worthless degree one can attain, save for, oh, anything to do with poetry. Not that there's anything wrong with poetry, but come on...a college degree? I can sit down and write poetry all day long, but I'm a guy, and a man's man, sort of, so even though I can, I don't.
Why is a law degree worthless? Let me explain, and get to the root problem with lawyers. Before the advent of modern-day law, all dealings with legality were harbored under "common sense."
A scenario of days gone by: You are sitting on your porch swing and the neighbor, for whatever reason, walks across his yard into yours, onto your porch and punches you in the nose. Stymied, you call the police, being the nonconfrontational, logically thinking individual that you are. The officers arrive, listen to your story, then go talk to the neighbor. He doesn't come up with a good reason for punching you in the nose and so he is arrested for assault.
Later, in court, the judge and/or jury listen to testimony on both sides. There are no lawyers present because none are needed. Common sense and the wisdom of the judge and/or a jury of peers will see all parties through. The defendant states that he just felt like punching someone in the nose and when he walked out his front door, well, there was his neighbor, just sitting there without a care in the world. This infuriated the neighbor, whose life isn't all sunshine and hoppy fuzzy bunnies, so he whakked you.
The judge and/or jury, being regular intelligent folk and knowing right from wrong, come to the decision that the neighbor was wrong. Is he remorseful? Of course. So, they make him apologize, which he wanted to do all along once he realized he was wrong, and pay for any medical bills which arise from the assault. The two men shake hands in open court and all is well. There is no need for the defendant to go to jail, he knows he did wrong and will not do it again, most probably. This is enough for everyday, sane people.
Warp to today. The offended neighbor immediately calls the police, decrying his insane next door neighbor and swearing up and down he's coming back to kill him. The next call is to his lawyer, or, to one he found in the yellow pages-there are plenty. Even before the police arrive, the man has a lawyer.
The next door neighbor, already feeling remorseful and realizing what a stupid thing he did, tries to explain this to the police, who take his approach to them as threatening and mace him. He is thrown to the ground and handcuffed. As well as charges for assault, he will now be charged with resisting arrest, assault upon a police officer and, because he had a folding knife on his belt that he uses at work as a carpenter, he will be charged with a weapons violation, which will make his misdemeanors felonies.
The jailed neighbor now gets his own attorney. In court, after two or three delays by one or the other sides (building up those billable hours) and various motions, the victim claims grevious bodily harm, a loss of esteem and a feeling of helplessness and vulnerability; all of which crown in an inability to perform in the bedroom, resulting in a strained relationship and possible divorce proceedings, all of which are decried by his lawyer, lamenting to the judge and/or jury how horribly his client has suffered.
The defendant, on the other hand, hired himself a good lawyer, one recommended by his union. His lawyer proceeds to explain to the judge about the continued harrassment of his client by the "so-called victim" sitting across from his client...said harrassment being his neighbor's almost nightly lounging upon his porch swing in plain view of his neighbor, who he knows is a tradesman with the union and a hard blue-collar worker, whose life is nowhere near as idyllic as his white-collar management neighbor, with his c-class Mercedes and beautiful blonde wife and two perfect private-school children. Knowing full well that this show is a direct slap in his noncollege educated, working with his hands face, his neighbor has the audacity to smile and sip on micro-brewed, perfectly chilled imported beer, all the while in full knowledge that his blue-collar neighbor can only afford Budweiser.
What other reason would a sane man, pushed to the brink by this continued harrassment, need to finally lose it and become temporarily insane? Sure the court can see this! Professional witnesses, including at least three psychiatrists and a couple more physical therapists and a medical doctor and rehabilitation expert all support the suffering of the attac...er...the victim!
Oh, and the insane nose-punching neighbor also pulled several muscles in his arm and sprained his ankle stepping over and through his neighbor's wife's rose bushes and trellis, all of which affect his performance as a carpenter and all of which will surely result in a loss of employment and necessitate continued payments by the victim to the accused!
And, since the judge, also a lawyer and with ties to the community and, hence, the local unions and this lawyer's firm in particular, who were big supporters of his campaign to become judge (read: gave him lots of money), the victim now becomes the attacker. The carpenter is found not guilty by reason of temporary incapacitation of his sense of right and wrong because of a premeditated and determined campaign by his superior-feeling white collar next door neighbor.
The man whose nose was punched now finds himself paying for the injuries of the carpenter, sustained as he rampaged through his wife's obviously dangerous and surely not up to code rose bush garden and the psychological damages of having been the victim of such a demonic campaign of harrassment.
Sound ridiculous? Not in today's courtrooms. Not with the advent of modern-day lawyering. Burglars sue and win settlements from home owners who left knives sticking in cutting boards upon which said burglar, dropping in from a skylight, cut himself and suffered grievous injuries (a real case and outcome in California).
Notwithstanding the idiocy of the courts, due to the idiocy of lawyers and the mire of written law, lawyers are singularly responsible for turning this society into a scrabbling mass of litiginous leeches all looking for the next juicy blood-filled leg to come wading through their part of the swamp so that the leech can get a tummy-full and a free ride at the expense of the bitten.
We sue for any and all reasons and then make some up! Why? Because some asshole lawyer told you you could! Just look at the local paper, the idiotic news reports and news channels on broadcast and cable television...every day there is another ludicrous bit of litigation brought about by some leech, er, lawyer.
Lawyers have to make up reasons to sue so that they can generate cash flow. Judges, all lawyers, are merely part of the game, allowing these moronic lawsuits into court in the first place...just witness the whole Terry Shivo (sp? forgive me, I never watched any of it nor read thing about it because common sense gave me all the answers I needed upon hearing about it in the first place) fiasco.
And stand by for all the lawsuits that are about to hit the courts when they get dried out down in New Orleans. Lawyers have inundated society and convinced us that they are necessary to our very well being and place in the world...AND WE LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT!
We should be allowed to hunt lawyers like we do deer and other animals that propogate past any sense of balance. Did you know that there are more up and coming lawyers in school than lawyers currently practicing?
You should be permitted to carry "lawyer tags," which allow the 'taking' of various types of lawyers in various levels of lawyerism...so many still in college and soon to be lawyers, the newly practicing lawyer, the just hung out a shingle lawyer and the law firm partner.
How you bag them is totally up to the strictures of the season. During the fall months, it's permissable to take a lawyer with shotgun, rifle or crossbow. In the winter, only traps are permitted and work best on snow slopes in western, high up in the mountains areas. In spring, due to their prolific breeding habits and the simple 'my god they're everywhere' nature of lawyers, your car is the preferred weapon of choice. During summer months, any item that causes severe blunt-force trauma is permitted, except for the lawyer's own fireplace tools.
After a few years of this culling activity, we should pretty much have eradicated lawyers and then can move on burning the morass of paper that has become law and return the country to common sense rule.
This is just a beginning. I will continue on with showing you how insidious has become their innundation of our everyday lives and the darth of woe they have visited, and continue to visit, upon this country and it's citizens and how they have destroyed our youth and doomed us all to mediocrity.
No pity, no quarter, no prisoners, NO LAWYERS! 'Skull
You'll notice by the title that I am not very fond of lawyers. Let me make my distaste known to you and explain why:
1. A law degree is the most worthless degree one can attain, save for, oh, anything to do with poetry. Not that there's anything wrong with poetry, but come on...a college degree? I can sit down and write poetry all day long, but I'm a guy, and a man's man, sort of, so even though I can, I don't.
Why is a law degree worthless? Let me explain, and get to the root problem with lawyers. Before the advent of modern-day law, all dealings with legality were harbored under "common sense."
A scenario of days gone by: You are sitting on your porch swing and the neighbor, for whatever reason, walks across his yard into yours, onto your porch and punches you in the nose. Stymied, you call the police, being the nonconfrontational, logically thinking individual that you are. The officers arrive, listen to your story, then go talk to the neighbor. He doesn't come up with a good reason for punching you in the nose and so he is arrested for assault.
Later, in court, the judge and/or jury listen to testimony on both sides. There are no lawyers present because none are needed. Common sense and the wisdom of the judge and/or a jury of peers will see all parties through. The defendant states that he just felt like punching someone in the nose and when he walked out his front door, well, there was his neighbor, just sitting there without a care in the world. This infuriated the neighbor, whose life isn't all sunshine and hoppy fuzzy bunnies, so he whakked you.
The judge and/or jury, being regular intelligent folk and knowing right from wrong, come to the decision that the neighbor was wrong. Is he remorseful? Of course. So, they make him apologize, which he wanted to do all along once he realized he was wrong, and pay for any medical bills which arise from the assault. The two men shake hands in open court and all is well. There is no need for the defendant to go to jail, he knows he did wrong and will not do it again, most probably. This is enough for everyday, sane people.
Warp to today. The offended neighbor immediately calls the police, decrying his insane next door neighbor and swearing up and down he's coming back to kill him. The next call is to his lawyer, or, to one he found in the yellow pages-there are plenty. Even before the police arrive, the man has a lawyer.
The next door neighbor, already feeling remorseful and realizing what a stupid thing he did, tries to explain this to the police, who take his approach to them as threatening and mace him. He is thrown to the ground and handcuffed. As well as charges for assault, he will now be charged with resisting arrest, assault upon a police officer and, because he had a folding knife on his belt that he uses at work as a carpenter, he will be charged with a weapons violation, which will make his misdemeanors felonies.
The jailed neighbor now gets his own attorney. In court, after two or three delays by one or the other sides (building up those billable hours) and various motions, the victim claims grevious bodily harm, a loss of esteem and a feeling of helplessness and vulnerability; all of which crown in an inability to perform in the bedroom, resulting in a strained relationship and possible divorce proceedings, all of which are decried by his lawyer, lamenting to the judge and/or jury how horribly his client has suffered.
The defendant, on the other hand, hired himself a good lawyer, one recommended by his union. His lawyer proceeds to explain to the judge about the continued harrassment of his client by the "so-called victim" sitting across from his client...said harrassment being his neighbor's almost nightly lounging upon his porch swing in plain view of his neighbor, who he knows is a tradesman with the union and a hard blue-collar worker, whose life is nowhere near as idyllic as his white-collar management neighbor, with his c-class Mercedes and beautiful blonde wife and two perfect private-school children. Knowing full well that this show is a direct slap in his noncollege educated, working with his hands face, his neighbor has the audacity to smile and sip on micro-brewed, perfectly chilled imported beer, all the while in full knowledge that his blue-collar neighbor can only afford Budweiser.
What other reason would a sane man, pushed to the brink by this continued harrassment, need to finally lose it and become temporarily insane? Sure the court can see this! Professional witnesses, including at least three psychiatrists and a couple more physical therapists and a medical doctor and rehabilitation expert all support the suffering of the attac...er...the victim!
Oh, and the insane nose-punching neighbor also pulled several muscles in his arm and sprained his ankle stepping over and through his neighbor's wife's rose bushes and trellis, all of which affect his performance as a carpenter and all of which will surely result in a loss of employment and necessitate continued payments by the victim to the accused!
And, since the judge, also a lawyer and with ties to the community and, hence, the local unions and this lawyer's firm in particular, who were big supporters of his campaign to become judge (read: gave him lots of money), the victim now becomes the attacker. The carpenter is found not guilty by reason of temporary incapacitation of his sense of right and wrong because of a premeditated and determined campaign by his superior-feeling white collar next door neighbor.
The man whose nose was punched now finds himself paying for the injuries of the carpenter, sustained as he rampaged through his wife's obviously dangerous and surely not up to code rose bush garden and the psychological damages of having been the victim of such a demonic campaign of harrassment.
Sound ridiculous? Not in today's courtrooms. Not with the advent of modern-day lawyering. Burglars sue and win settlements from home owners who left knives sticking in cutting boards upon which said burglar, dropping in from a skylight, cut himself and suffered grievous injuries (a real case and outcome in California).
Notwithstanding the idiocy of the courts, due to the idiocy of lawyers and the mire of written law, lawyers are singularly responsible for turning this society into a scrabbling mass of litiginous leeches all looking for the next juicy blood-filled leg to come wading through their part of the swamp so that the leech can get a tummy-full and a free ride at the expense of the bitten.
We sue for any and all reasons and then make some up! Why? Because some asshole lawyer told you you could! Just look at the local paper, the idiotic news reports and news channels on broadcast and cable television...every day there is another ludicrous bit of litigation brought about by some leech, er, lawyer.
Lawyers have to make up reasons to sue so that they can generate cash flow. Judges, all lawyers, are merely part of the game, allowing these moronic lawsuits into court in the first place...just witness the whole Terry Shivo (sp? forgive me, I never watched any of it nor read thing about it because common sense gave me all the answers I needed upon hearing about it in the first place) fiasco.
And stand by for all the lawsuits that are about to hit the courts when they get dried out down in New Orleans. Lawyers have inundated society and convinced us that they are necessary to our very well being and place in the world...AND WE LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT!
We should be allowed to hunt lawyers like we do deer and other animals that propogate past any sense of balance. Did you know that there are more up and coming lawyers in school than lawyers currently practicing?
You should be permitted to carry "lawyer tags," which allow the 'taking' of various types of lawyers in various levels of lawyerism...so many still in college and soon to be lawyers, the newly practicing lawyer, the just hung out a shingle lawyer and the law firm partner.
How you bag them is totally up to the strictures of the season. During the fall months, it's permissable to take a lawyer with shotgun, rifle or crossbow. In the winter, only traps are permitted and work best on snow slopes in western, high up in the mountains areas. In spring, due to their prolific breeding habits and the simple 'my god they're everywhere' nature of lawyers, your car is the preferred weapon of choice. During summer months, any item that causes severe blunt-force trauma is permitted, except for the lawyer's own fireplace tools.
After a few years of this culling activity, we should pretty much have eradicated lawyers and then can move on burning the morass of paper that has become law and return the country to common sense rule.
This is just a beginning. I will continue on with showing you how insidious has become their innundation of our everyday lives and the darth of woe they have visited, and continue to visit, upon this country and it's citizens and how they have destroyed our youth and doomed us all to mediocrity.
No pity, no quarter, no prisoners, NO LAWYERS! 'Skull
posted by SplitLvlSkull | 6:45 AM
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